Can I Call Out Sick for iPad Shoulder?

If you didn't hear the news, a recent Harvard study has confirmed that iPad shoulder is real. What is iPad shoulder? Think tennis elbow. The study's lead investigator, Jack Dennerlein, PhD summed it up by saying that "the problem is getting stuck in these awkward postures for a long period of time."

While I've yet to give myself iPad shoulder, I'm certain I've given myself MacBook neck. I manage to sit at my desk for hours, leaning on my right elbow until I suddenly feel this shooting pain in the right side of my neck and realize I can barely move.

One of the biggest problems with technology, is it gives us a reason to limit our mobility tremendously. We email the person in the office next door. We pick up the phone to call the person down the hall.

I bring this up to recognize the importance of keeping activity in our lives, and its ability to impact our performance at work. Go ahead and Google exercise increases productivity at work - you'll get over 8 million hits. I don't think there is really much debate.

When we fly, most airlines encourage passengers to do some in-flight exercises. (See United's official recommendations here.) Yet, we'll regularly sit at our desk for 8 hours a day without much movement, and then go home to sit and watch the Facebook news feed pass by.

If you think that exercise is boring, know that there are plenty of types to try. I have always been a fitness serial dater. At one time or another, I've been obsessed with step classes, Tae Bo, pilates on a mat, pilates on a reformer, running, power walking, hiking, spinning, vinyassa yoga, hot yoga and my newest fitness love affair - Fusion cross-training. The most memorable break-up came with Tae Bo. As I was doing one of these (see Billy go!), I actually punched myself in the face... NEXT!

Ultimately, I think we focus more at work and feel better about ourselves when we exercise or keep movement in our lives. Maybe just taking a long walk around the office at lunchtime. Maybe getting up to stretch every hour. Maybe starting an office fitness contest. Whatever works for you, your level of fitness and your current health status. Just do some soul searching and be honest with yourself. If you are not making time for your health and well being, I feel confident in the fact that your work is suffering.*

*I'm not a doctor. Please consult with your doctor or healthcare provider before beginning any fitness routine.

Don't Take Interview Advice from Mario Lopez

OK, I'll be honest. I did not see this live...but when I saw the photo bouncing around the internet, I obviously got a little...distracted... (sorry hubby)  

Quick Internet Search... Found it!

So, if you clicked the link, what did you learn? You can get Mario Lopez half naked in under a minute...without much convincing, I might add.

Now, obviously, this is not the exact setting you would be in when interviewing for a job. But it brings up an interesting concept - doing outrageous things to leave a lasting impression on the interviewer.

I have heard some crazy stories. How about a guy who couldn't get an interview, so he showed up at the office with pizzas from Dominos and his resume taped to every box? I know him...and he didn't get the job. And let's be honest - if the pink, perfume scented resume that Elle Woods carried around in Legally Blonde was such a hit in real life, mine would be printed on green paper and drenched in Clinique Happy...but it's not.

When it comes to the interview, I am a wow-them-with-your-style-experience-and-confidence kind of person...not a shock-them-with-your-weirdness-and-intrusive-nature kind of person. I'm sure there are those of you with examples of getting the job through creative and unique ways. I just warn you to walk the line carefully, so you don't go from being unique and unforgettable to the laughing stock of the company.

Two last pieces of advice:
1. Consider the job itself and what the requirements of the position are. If you need to be over the top, gutsy and funny in the day to day responsibilities of the job - by all means, go with something wild.

2. Whenever you take great risks, you have the opportunity for great reward. Just realize you also have the opportunity for great failure. If you are truly comfortable with either outcome...bring on the pizza boxes! (Just don't strip a la Lopez...that is never OK).

Kim Kardashian & Goal Setting

I just finished the current issue of Success Magazine. I was completely surprised to find Kim Kardashian on the cover.

Not because I don't think she is successful, but because she is the type of person who seems to be dismissed by the traditional circles of coaches, mentors and gurus. And why do so many dismiss Kim K? I think Barbara Walters summed it up quite well when she was interviewing the Kardashians for her 10 Most Fascinating People of 2011 with the following remark to Kim - "You don't really act; you don't sing; you don't dance. You don't have any -- forgive me -- any talent!"

So if that's the case, why would Success Magazine feature Kim K? Because she is a marketing genius and incredibly successful. She has turned a disastrous mistake from her past into a future of endless, million dollar possibilities. And for that, I believe, many of the traditional coaches, mentors and gurus hate her. She doesn't have a PhD or 30 years of industry experience; she didn't grow up homeless or overcome great illness. Instead, she has managed to become "famous for nothing."

Oh, and look behind her...there's Snooki eating pickles and pistachios as she tans herself on a bed of dollar bills...

Sorry - back to Kim K! While she may have become "famous for nothing," let's make it clear that she did not become famous without work, strategy and determination. In the magazine I learned that she sits down with her mother every 6 months to write out her goals. They also write one goal they think is a stretch. They discuss how to accomplish these goals and build a plan. Pretty basic, right?

A few years ago one of Kim's stretch goals was to have her own line of perfume...well, today you can pick up 3.4 oz. of Kim Kardashian Gold for $65 at Macy's.

Kim K did not become successful by accident. As I say in my speeches, "no one just chances upon success." She made it happen. And while you might not want to be famous or successful for the reasons Kim K is, you can't deny that she can remind us all a little something about the importance of building a plan for the future, dreaming of the impossible and wearing lipstick every step of the way!

To Comma or Not to Comma

I have recently seen this image pop up all over on facebook.

I have always been under the impression that using the Oxford comma (also known as the Harvard comma or the Serial Comma) is a style choice, not a fast and hard rule. I flipped through my copy of The Grammar Devotional: Daily Tips for Successfully Writing from Grammar Girl, to confirm. There, right on page 107, The Grammar Girl agrees that it is simply a matter of preference. It feels good to be right!

Seriously though, I don't claim to be a grammar guru - I have Grammar Girl for that. In fact, I think I often overuse/misuse the comma, but I do take pride in my efforts to at least attempt to get it right. And you should too!

So, first subscribe to Ronica Speaks. Then, subscribe to Grammar Girl (http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/). In my opinion, a pretty good combination of how to communicate effectively and correctly.

Let me tell you...

Recently, I met with someone who, within just a few minutes of conversation, started telling me what to do with my life and the next steps I should take. He immediately decided I wasn't aggressive enough and wasn't making good decisions for my future. What he failed to realize was, I'm not the type of person to wear my accomplishments on my sleeve. I'm not interested in meeting you and telling you how great I am in the first 5 minutes. He, on the other hand, was. And in that time, he decided that I needed his advice and guidance. I was immediately uncomfortable, defensive and eager to end the conversation.

The greatest lesson I have learned when consulting is to never offer your advice, guidance or feedback unless it is requested. No matter how much it is needed, a person will shut down and value your feedback less if you just offer it.

And even when it is requested, don't just dive into the negative and focus on everything that is wrong.

I have lost potential clients by offering feedback too quickly and aggressively before it was requested, and I have lost paying clients by diving into the negative too forcefully and ignoring the positive all together. While people seek coaching because they know they need to improve, most also look to you for support and guidance. I strongly believe that my clients are not only better communicators after working with me, but also more confident. That doesn't come from destroying a person's self worth and telling them how great I am. They should eventually see how "great" I am by working with me, learning from me and seeing value in my advice. If I have to shove all of my accomplishments down your throat, I'm probably overcompensating.

Look, I know that Abby from Dance Moms would disagree with me. Look at her telling me I'm pathetic and wrong...

But who wants to make little girls cry? We can motivate through fear and criticism...or we can motivate by example and positive reinforcement. I certainly know I would rather work with someone following the standards of the latter...so I'm definitely going to coach like that as well.

New Poll

Please visit www.RonicaSpeaks.com and vote in this week's poll!

How do you say "Thank You" after a job interview?
- Mail a written note
- Send an email
- Make a phone call
- Nothing - wait to hear from the employer

Public speaking or death?

“According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.” ~Jerry Seinfeld

If you are one of those people then you suffer from glossophobia, a fear of public speaking. Now I must have the bravest readers out there because only 5% of you owned up to your fear of speaking, with the rest of you claiming you feel either neutral or excited about the act. If my students are any indication of the way people really feel, a lot more of you are fearful than the survey suggests.

Being afraid is nothing to hide. It is perfectly normal to feel nervous before giving a presentation. It is what you do about that fear that really matters. The most useful tips I have found include the following:

- Practice, practice, practice: As much as people don’t like to do it, being prepared is one of the most effective ways to overcome nerves. And don’t practice in your head – for it to be effective, you have to practice out loud.

- Have a back-up: Nothing will set off nerves faster than a broken projector or a whiteboard without markers. If you plan to use a PowerPoint presentation or transparencies, bring hard copies for the audience if you have never used the venue before. If you are using a whiteboard or chalkboard bring extra markers or chalk.

- You care more than everyone else: According to the “spotlight effect” people aren’t watching as closely as you might expect. The idea is that we focus on our own public mistakes much more than the people in the audience. Think back to the last presentation you attended. Do you remember every detail? Probably not. No matter how good you are, people are not going to remember a small mistake the way you will.

Bottom Line: While public speaking is a little scary, you cannot avoid it forever if you expect a job promotion and business success. Embrace the idea and try to think about what is really making you afraid. Most likely, you won’t be able to come up with many realistic reasons to be afraid and this may calm your nerves.

Quick Tip: If you are giving a presentation and make a mistake, simply stop, apologize and move on. Do not let your mind focus on it as you continue, or the presentation will go down-hill. And during the Q&A, if you don’t know the answer, own up to it and promise to follow-up with the answer later. As long as you say it with confidence, the audience will assume you shouldn’t have known and be happy you are willing to get them the answer at a later time.