Monthly Archives: February 2012

The Beatles Were Onto Something…

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Today is an extraordinary day. It’s a day that only comes once ever four years and gives us 366 days in 2012. And while most of us will go through the day like any other, I think it should symbolize an opportunity to challenge ourselves to make the most of the time we have in 2012. If you had 25 hours in a day or 8 days in a week, how would you do things differently? What else would you make time for? Would you sleep more? Exercise more? Read more? Work more? Laugh more? I think the Beatles would love more.

Well, today is the day when you actually get a little extra. So I’m keeping this blog short and sweet. Use the time to remind yourself of the things you need to make more time for in your life and find a way to actually make it happen. In the end, all of our days are numbered, so let’s cherish the moments we have and make the most of them.

Ultimately, I think this quote sums it all up quite well:

Don’t be fooled by the calendar. There are only as many days in the year as you make use of. One man gets only a week’s value out of a year while another man gets a full year’s value out of a week.
~ Charles Dow Richards

5 Tips to Keep Your Day on Schedule When You’re Booked Solid

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I was recently chatting with a friend about what to do when you have back-to-back meetings, and how to politely exit from one meeting to get to the next on time. This is certainly an issue we have all faced. Follow these five tips to better manage a situation like this in the future:

1. Plan ahead: Tell every person involved that you are booked back to back. The people in the current meeting will be more courteous of your time, and the people in the following meeting will be less unsettled if you aren’t on time.

2. Send an email or make a call: If you didn’t plan ahead or it looks like it will be later than expected, excuse yourself from the current meeting to call or email the people you will see next. This small gesture will be greatly appreciated.

3. Find the clocks: Sometimes, staying on schedule is as simple as knowing what time it is – but it can feel incredibly awkward to look down at your watch in the middle of a conversation. Here are a few little tips to check the time (without being obvious) when you’re in a meeting.
- When you enter the room, find the clock on the wall. If you can choose your seat without being rude, sit in the seat that faces the clock.
- If you can’t find any clocks (or if you are forced to sit in a seat that is offered to you and does not face a clock), see if the person across from you is wearing a watch that is big enough for you to read upside-down with a quick glance.
- I often like to wait to give someone my card until I feel the meeting might be going too long – I then have an opportunity to reach in my bag and take a quick glance at my watch to check the time.
- And, you can always just look if you have to – it is easier to get away with looking if you follow step 1, since the person knows you have another meeting to get to – they will be less likely to feel you are looking because you’re bored. That being said, don’t look when they are speaking. Look after they finish a thought and before you respond.

4. Schedule wisely: Do you really need to book the meetings so close to one another? If you can avoid it, you should. By starting your day a little bit earlier (say 7:30 instead of 8 ) and ending your day a little later (6 instead of 5), you can most likely give yourself the breathing room you need between appointments. And if you must book appointments so close together, consider the potential of each client and book accordingly. It would be a mistake to put your biggest potential client at the end of your day, when you are most likely running off schedule.

5. Just be late: Sometimes, you just need to be late. If the meeting is going unexpectedly well and you just didn’t plan ahead – go with it. When you finally arrive at your next meeting late, apologize immediately, but don’t dwell or give too many details. Saying, “oh, I’m so sorry! I was just closing a HUGE deal,” is completely unprofessional. Instead, just say something like this: “I sincerely apologize for not calling you when my last meeting ran over. I hope you’ll allow me to make it up to you with X.” Now, X can be anything from a free sample of your product, to covering the cost of lunch or coffee – whatever makes sense for your industry and relationship with the client.

Lessons from The Dictator

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In case you missed The Academy Awards last night, one might argue the most memorable moment happened before the show even began. Sacha Baron Cohen arrived on the red carpet as “The Dictator,” a character from his upcoming movie. He carried an earn of what he claimed to be the ashes of Kim Jong-il and “accidentally” dumped them all over Ryan Seacrest during their interview. If you missed it, check out the video.

So, what can we learn from this?

1. Stay composed: If you watch the video, Seacrest completely kept his cool. Whatever mishap you may encounter in your professional life (a broken high heel, a spill on your tie), save the outburst for a private time. People will have more sympathy for you and be more understanding if you have a sense of humor and just laugh it off.

2. Come prepared: Later that night, Ryan tweeted “My mom always told me to pack two jackets for red carpets, always wondered why. Now I know.” Obviously, we can’t always walk around with a complete back-up wardrobe, but we can do a few things to be prepared for basic, daily mishaps. Ladies, always carry an extra set of nylons in a small, Ziploc bag in your purse, for those unexpected runs. Men and women might consider carrying a Tide to Go pen for an unexpected spot on your shirt. Try to think of the basic daily events that could go wrong and how you could correct them quickly.

Have other ideas for how to expect the unexpected? Would love to hear your thoughts! Leave a comment or tweet me @RonicaSpeaks.

Curse on Twitter…And Other Good Deeds

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I recently stumbled across the Starbucks Digital Network and found TakePart’s Take Action: 30 Ways for 30 Days, a monthly calendar with daily actions to “inspire change.”

I really love this concept. The idea that we can actually impact our world through small, daily actions, is incredible…and true. The February 2012 calendar of daily actions can be found here, and is absolutely worth a look.

Today, February 24th, has to do with health and asks you to share a film with the women in your life titled, “Go Red For Women ™ presents: ‘Just a Little Heart Attack’.” Great film and I definitely want my female readers to watch it! For my male readers, please share it with the women in your life.

And don’t worry – for those of you who are a little skeptical of this touchy-feely kind of stuff, it isn’t always G-rated. If you stick to the calendar, tomorrow you get to Say F*ck on Twitter for Charity. Instead of putting $1 in the swear jar, you can go through Charity Swearbox and donate a $1 to charity each time you curse on twitter! The organization has already raised over $41,000 for various charities in this very unconventional way. Pretty cool stuff.

So make doing good deeds fun, different and daily. It will impact your life for the better, both personally and professionally.

Confessions of a Nomophobic

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Yes, I may have brought my phone with me to yoga the other day… Yes, I may own a blackberry and an iPhone… Yes, I may check my email in bed before I do anything else every morning…

Perhaps I should be worried. According to Wikipedia, Nomophobia is “the fear of being out of mobile phone contact. The term is an abbreviation for ‘no-mobile-phone phobia‘.” I’m not the worst case, but I did once get anxiety before a massage because the salon made me lock up my phone for the hour… Look, if I want to ruin my massage by taking a potentially important call, shouldn’t I be allowed to make that decision? Anyway…

While I may seem out of control, I actually do have a few rules when it comes to cell phone usage.

1. Put your phone away at meetings: If you think we can’t see you as you text with your phone in your lap, think again. No matter where you are sitting, it is very likely that your boss or supervisor can see you. And they’re going to think one of two things – you are texting…or you have a strange affinity with your crotch… Not exactly the way to make a great impression.

2. Put your phone away at meals: You’re usually on your cell phone to stay connected to family and friends – so if you have one sitting right across the table from you, you shouldn’t be sending emails to someone else. That being said, these are your friends and family – so, if you are waiting for something extremely important, they should understand. But, be sure to tell the person that you are expecting a call and apologize for keeping your phone out. And be sure it really can’t wait until after.

3. Put your phone away when you drive: No exceptions to the rule here. Get a blue tooth device that immediately hooks up when you get in your car – and never touch your phone when you are behind the wheel. There is not a single person who wouldn’t understand why you missed a call/text/email if you just explain that you were driving.

Now, there should probably be a rule here about putting your phone away when you’re at yoga…look, I’m taking it one step at a time…

Winning the Name Game

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In yesterday’s post I promised I would continue the conversation about remembering names, by giving you some simple tricks so you no longer have to say “I remember faces, but not names!”

I was once at a networking event talking with the same person for about 15 minutes. Towards the end of the conversation, he covered up his name tag and said, “quick, what’s my name?!” Now, let’s be clear – I’m not advocating this behavior. He really put me on the spot and could have caused such an embarrassing situation. Luckily, I was listening when he introduced himself and followed these simple tricks, so I got it right!

1. Repeat 3 Times: When a person introduces herself, you should then repeat their name when you respond in kind.

- Hi, I’m Samantha, it is nice to meet you.
- Hi, I’m Ronica. Nice to meet you Samantha.

Then, say the person’s name again when you ask your first question.

- So, tell me Samantha – what do you do professionally?

At the end of the conversation, say it one last time.

- It was lovely to meet you Samantha. I hope to see you again soon.

To prove to you this works, I want you to think back to this blog post in a few hours and tell yourself the name of the person in the example. I guarantee you’ll remember it was Samantha.

2. Ask a Qualifying Question: This is a great tip to use when you are meeting someone with a unique name or you’re simply new at really getting people’s names on the first meeting.

- Hi, I’m Samantha, it is nice to meet you.
- Hi, I’m Ronica. Nice to meet you Samantha. Now, Samantha – do you prefer Samantha or Sam?

You have just said her name 3 times – and you’re still going to say it when you ask your first question and again when you close the conversation. If you read my post, Hi, My Name Is…, you know that odds are she prefers Samantha because she introduced herself that way. But it is perfectly fine to check, just to give yourself an opportunity to say her name a few more times.

3. Tell a Short “Story”: Who else do you know named Samantha? Was Samantha the name of your childhood best friend? Did you just read a great article by an industry leader named Samantha?

- Hi, I’m Samantha, it is nice to meet you.
- Hi, I’m Ronica. Nice to meet you Samantha. You know, my parents seriously considered naming me Samantha! I really love your name.

See what I mean about being short? You aren’t really diving into a long story. You’re just finding another excuse to say the name a few more times and get it in your head.

4. Name Alliteration: Is Samantha serious? Is Samantha silly? Is Samantha short? Is Samantha from Somerville? Does Samantha smell? Seriously…anything you can come up with that can help you remember the person…just don’t ever say, “Oh, hey! You’re smelly Samantha from that networking event a few weeks ago!” Obviously, that would be a terrible thing to do. Keep whatever you come up with to yourself!

At the end of the day, you’ll still have times when you have trouble remembering names. But as you go through these techniques, you’ll get better and better at remembering names. It truly is a skill that you can develop and improve upon.

How To Avoid Embarrassment When You Forget A Name

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I was recently at an event when I recognized someone, but could not remember their name or how I know the person. How do you handle this type of situation in a professional way without completely embarrassing yourself?
~Elizabeth B.

Elizabeth,

Great question! I was actually at an event a few weeks ago when this happened to me. The woman walked up to me as if we have know each other for years (turns out we have…) and starts chatting it up with me! Luckily, with the 4 tips I’m about to share, I was able to get her name and eventually put the pieces together to realize our connection. Sometimes it isn’t easy to do this without being obvious, but in most cases it can be done.

1. Use the buddy system: Let’s say you are at an event with your colleague, Jessica. Whenever possible, Jessica should introduce herself to the people you are chatting with. Whenever Jessica comes into the conversation, two things can happen: you can introduce her or she can introduce herself. Jessica must always introduce herself. Why? Because if you introduce her you must know the name of the person you are speaking with – and Jessica doesn’t know if you do. If she introduces herself, the conversation will go like this:

“Hi, I’m Jessica Smith. Lovely to meet you.”
“Hi, I’m Andrew Jones. Nice to meet you as well.”

And if you’re really lucky, Andrew will say, “Hi, I’m Andrew Jones. Nice to meet you as well. I worked with Elizabeth back in college on a group project. How do you know Elizabeth?”

And just like that, you have his name and how you know each other. If Andrew isn’t so open with the background, and if Jessica is very comfortable talking with new people, she should respond to Andrew’s introduction by saying, “Andrew – how do you know Elizabeth?” The question must be asked directly to Andrew to ensure that he is responsible for answering it.

Do this when meeting Jessica’s contacts as well.

Now, if you’re alone that changes everything and puts a lot more of the pressure on you. Here’s what you do then:

2. Seeing vs. Meeting: I have completely eliminated the expression “Nice to meet you” from conversation because I run the risk of saying it to someone I have already met. Now I only say “Nice to see you.” In situations when I have completely dropped the ball and I clearly recognize the face, but have forgotten the person’s name, I just keep the conversation moving. Questions like these bring the conversation forward and closer to jogging your memory:

- “How have you been?”
- “What have you been working on lately?”
- “I didn’t expect to see you here tonight!”

3. Exchanging Contact Information: Asking to exchange contact information at the end of the conversation is a great way to get the person’s name. You might tell them your phone broke and you lost contact information for friends, or that you simply want to give them a call first thing on Monday morning and the card will remind you. If they don’t have a card and want you to put the number in your phone, say this: “Could you spell your last name for me?” This is a question you can get away with asking anyone – even people you have known for years. And if their name turns out to be “Smith,” just say “You never know how people spell their name these days!” And move on.

3. Just Ask: If it gets to the point where you really need their name and it just isn’t coming up, you can always just ask in the following way:
“I’m so sorry, but I can’t seem to recall your first name.”
They will usually tell you their name and how they know you: “Oh, I’m Andrew from college. We worked on that group project together.”

4. Make it easier for the next person: The last thing I can tell you to do is to help others avoid the embarrassment you went through, by always taking the lead and reminding someone of your name when you walk up to them.
“Hi, Jessica! It’s me, Elizabeth, from the internship in 2005. How have you been?”
Putting a person at ease and ensuring they are comfortable makes you likeable and memorable.

Ultimately, there is no guaranteed way to completely avoid this situation. Tomorrow I’ll write a post on how to better remember people’s names. As you get better at that, you’ll be less likely to run into this situation, though it is bound to happen to everyone at some time. Just stay calm, confident and follow these tips, and you’ll be just fine!

Have a question for Ronica or an issue you would like her to discuss? Contact Ronica here to submit your idea!

Who Gets You to Walk Across the Fire?

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I watched Oprah’s OWN network for the first time last night. The show was Oprah’s Next Chapter and her guest was Tony Robbins.

If you missed it, Oprah initially intended to just watch a few hours of his seminar and leave to prepare for the interview the next day. She knew that Tony Robbins always has all of his guests do a firewalk at the end of the day and she had no intention to participate. But as Oprah listened in the audience (and jumped and shouted and danced and cried), she found herself there over 12 hours later, standing in front of the firewalk.

The fire is a metaphor for whatever you have in your life that you are afraid to do. By showing his audience they can walk through the physical fire, he intends to give them the confidence and passion to walk through whatever fires that are holding them back in their lives.

I completely get it. In my adulthood, I have actually grown to detest fear, because my natural tendency is extremely fearful. I have seen the uselessness of that fear over and over and over again.

As a child, we went on a family vacation that stopped in Vancouver. There, we went to see the Capilano Suspension Bridge – a 450 ft long walking bride with a 230 ft high drop below.

I immediately decided I wouldn’t go across the bridge and just watch my dad (my mom wouldn’t go either). I watched my dad walk back and forth a few times – each time he returned, he encouraged me to give it a try. Finally, I said yes. I couldn’t believe it, but once I tried it, I had so much fun. At the time, I didn’t realize the greater lesson I could take from the experience, but it is a wonderful memory that I still reminisce about with my dad today.

On last night’s show, Tony Robbin’s said “Euphoria comes from conquering fear.” Walking across that bridge was probably the first time I felt said euphoria.

Today, my husband is my greatest advocate when it comes to conquering fear and trying new things…and while my Dad isn’t always along for the ride, he is still encouraging me from the sidelines. I have had melt downs from fear in front of my husband while skiing in Winter Park, whitewater rafting along the Gunnison River, hiking the Kalalau trail, riding an escalator in DC…yes, previously hated and afraid of escalators – in my defense, the Washington DC metro is home to the longest escalators in the Western Hemisphere…

I look back on those ridiculous moments and often feel anger. Anger for letting fear impact my experiences in life. But if I recount those experiences chronologically, each freak out got a little smaller, my willingness to try got a little faster and the joy I eventually experienced was a little stronger. Yes, I hit a ton of rapids and freezed my butt off…but who cares? I did it!

This photo was taken on the 103rd floor of the Willis Tower (previously the Sears Tower) in Chicago in the summer of 2011. When I got to the top of the tower, I immediately saw the area where you could stand on the glass. Five years ago, I wouldn’t have even considered doing it. But on that day, I didn’t even think about it and just got in line. When my turn finally came, my heart dropped but I just ignored it and walked on. When I finished my knees were shaking, but at the same time I felt that euphoria that Tony Robbins described.

I’m not sure I’ll white water rafter again. I still really don’t like skiing. You won’t ever find me sky diving. But, I’m certain that I do things today in my professional life without fear, because of those experiences in my personal life. I offer solutions to problems I see. I create new opportunities for myself to grow and excel. When necessary, I travel around the world alone.

What firewalk are you too afraid to take? And who is going to encourage you to actually take the first step? Make a promise to yourself to answer those questions…and then do something about it. I’m glad I did.

Chewing Gum Makes You Smarter…But Look Dumber

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There are some basic rules from elementary school we should all continue to use as adults: share with others, listen while others are speaking, and don’t chew gum.

I stumbled across a finding that might make some ignore that last piece of advice. Featured in many locations on the web, including an article in the LA Times, an academic study found that kids scored higher on math tests who chewed gum in classes leading up to the exam. While we all love getting A’s, in this case I’ll take the lower score. One of the fastest ways to make a terrible impression at the office is to smack away at an old piece of gum…worse yet, blow a bubble in your interview. I’d like one example of someone who got a job after doing that in front of a hiring manager!

Worried about your breath? I’m a fan of Sugar Free Life Saver Mints. Won’t give you cavities and the ones I like are individually wrapped so you can easily share. Not chewing gum and sharing? Your 2nd grade teacher would be so proud!

5 Random Interview Tips You’ve Never Been Told Before

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I realize that there are basic elements of interview preparation that you must consider before your next job. Certainly, reviewing your resume, understanding the industry, researching the company…all important. But there are some things that will help you succeed in an interview that people just ignore or take for granted. So, here goes:

1. Your alarm should force you out of bed: Obviously, you don’t want to sleep through your interview, but how do you ensure you don’t accidentally hit the snooze button too many times or turn off your alarm? Set two alarm clocks on the loudest possible volume and put them on the other side of the room. This will force you to get out of bed to turn them off.

2. Pick the right time: Your interviewers are people just like you. They are groggy in the morning, hungry by lunch and tired by the end of the day. If you have a choice, you should pick your interview time at 10AM, 10:30AM, 2PM or 2:30PM. If they are interviewing candidates all day, that gives them time to warm up with the candidates before you, not be starving and not be completely bored.

3. Sit down: You might look amazing in the clothes you plan to wear for the interview…when you’re standing…but how do you look when you sit down? Ladies – is that skirt way too short once you sit? Men – do those pants look like capris once you sit down? Do your socks even match? Missing these details could cause some serious distractions for the interviewer.

4. Read the news: If you are not passionate about the news, you need to at least pick up the paper the week or two before your interview and leading up to the day of. No one ever asks if you saw the article in The New York Times from four months ago…but you do regularly hear people ask if you saw the article from the previous week or that morning. If you start a week or two in advance, you can at least say “yes,” and have an opportunity to extend the conversation in the interview beyond your resume.

5. Be quiet!: If the interviewer wants to do all of the talking, just nod and listen. Whether the story has to do with the job, their life or something completely random, your interview is most likely going well if they talk more than you. So, don’t interrupt the story to share something amazing about your experience that relates. Just listen. When the story is over, if the timing feels right, you can add something from your life.